Week 12: Taking risks--humor, exaggeration, juxtaposition

You know that last year of high school, where you dream and imagine about all the great stuff you are gonna do? The world seems open to interpretation and every possible dream you ever imagined is at your fingertips? An then some crotchety old aunt tells you that you aren't going to achieve anything, and you're better off getting a job at the local food mart. You laugh at her and tell her she is bat shit crazy, but then fast forward 10 years, you're broke and working at the food mart and you rent a room from that same aunt. Yea well, my life is nothing like that, I had a dream and I fulfilled it. I unconventionally dreampt of.  becoming a playboy bunny. Ever since I caught my brother shoving those dirty magazines under his bed, I was enthralled by the women between its covers. They were so gorgeous, accomplished and not a hair out of place.

Well, the minute I graduated high school, I set out in my Buick Century headed for the Chicago Playboy headquarters. I had no plan or money, but that was not going to stop me. The headquarters were only about 5 hours south of my high school, and it didn't take long to arrive. Just before I got there, I stopped at a truck stop, swiped some blonde hair dye off the shelf, and proceeded to dye my long black tresses a "golden sunlight" color. The results were fantastic. Reveling in my new found persona, I jumped back into my car, on my way to headquarters.

When I arrived, there was a mad crowd of people out front. I slipped between the screaming throng and proceeded inside. In the foyer, was my idol. Heff himself, with Kendra, Bridget, and Holly draped across his arms. I gulped and straightened my shoulders in an attempt to look confident. Heff glanced over at me, and his crinkly face broke into a grin, so his eyes became squinty little slits. He beckoned me over, and I knew that I had arrived.

Week 12: Prompt 3

My dearest boyfriend,
I met the most amazing person last week, named Angelica. She actually cared what I had to say, she listened to all my thoughts and desires. When I was sad, she held me. When I laughed, she laughed also. When I was quiet and enjoyed the silence, she held my hand and enjoyed it with me. At first I thought that she would make a great friend, but the more attention she showed me, the more attractive she became to me. I needed to talk to you, and you weren't there, but when I called her, she picked up the phone. She never doubts me, and finds the silver linings in my failures. I met someone last week, and she is better then you. I am sorry you have to find out this way, trust me, these feeling are new to me as well. I don't know where it will lead, or if she is "The One", but I know that with her, I am willing to find out.
Love,
Your Girlfriend

Week 12: Prompt 2

I had followed him for months. I had endured the long car trips, the shitty food, and the sparse bathrooms breaks, but it had been the best summer of my life. I had followed Twisted Sister across their whole American tour, and was the last stop. Tonight was my night, I was determined that Dee Snider would notice me. During the concert, I sipped my beer, while bobbing in and out of the frenzied crowd. My eyes followed Dee's every move as he gyrated and belted out the songs, his crazy blonde hair whipping sweat across his face. I danced my way across the edge of the stage until I came face to face with security. The big, meaty man in front of me straightened and tightened his crossed arms. I smiled coyly and let the beer slip from my hands. I gasped and slowly bent down to grab it, taking my time to stand back up. The guard was obviously pleased with what he saw, and he gestured me into back stage. The concert was winding down, and I picked my way amongst the mess to find Dee's room. A group of equally slutty girls were waiting outside, I grabbed a polo shirt that was hanging on an empty rack and quickly pulled it on. A quick glance in the mirror told me I looked official. I approached the girls and informed them that Dee would be meeting people in the common room down the hall. Eagerly, they skittered away. I entered Dee's room and waited. Tonight, was my night.

Week 12: Prompt 1

1. Walk away slowly
2. Walk away fast
3. Pick a fight and run out the door
4. Shoot him in the ass
5. Sneak away when he is at work
6. Cheat on him with someone else
7. Tell him you don't love him anymore
8. Tell him he's a dork
9. Throw his stuff out the window
10. Burn his clothes in the yard
11. Take him out to eat and leave him with the check
12. Drop him off at the bus station
13. Say you hate the way he chews
14. Tell him he's bad in bed
15. "It's not you, it's me"
16. Move out so you can "find yourself"
17. Change the locks
18. Never admit your wrong
19. Say you never loved him in the first place
20. I'm just not ready to settle down
21. "Honey, I'm gay"
22. Tell him he is too nice
23. I am not good enough for you
24. We need some space
25. I'm too young and haven't experienced enough things
26. Get him in trouble so he goes to jail
27. You're not Mr. Right, just Mr. Right-Now
28. Blame it on his religion or lack there of
29. Tell him he is ugly
30. Say you imagined your dream husband looking and acting like the exact opposite of him
31. Tell him "I think you love me more then I love you"
32. I'm looking for a long term relationship, just not with you
33. All my friends at the gay bar encourage me to go through the sex change, do you?
34. You remind me of my dead ex-husband... Let's get married
35. I'm dying...and I can't ask you to watch me slowly fade away....Please, go now and remember me as I am
36. Remember when I asked you out?? Well.... I was talking to the guy behind you
37. God said that you are not the one
38. My parents don't like you
39. Tell him you want a baby
40. Let's just be friends
41. Look at my horoscope! "...a new love in your life..." Well, gotta follow my guiding star...
42. Goodbye. I don't want to see you again. Goodbye, I don't even wanna be your friend. So get out now before I call security.
43. “I love you but sometimes love isn’t enough.”
44. “I can’t see a future with you.”
45. Take a job out of state and don't invite him
46. "I hate you!"47. Act like a bitch until he dumps you
48. Be overly clingy and needy until he can't stand it
49. Say you joined a cult
50. Change your Facebook status to "Single"

Week 11 Theme--when words mean something beyond themselves

The icy cold wind seemed to almost bite at my exposed skin. I huddled closer within my coat and pulled my hat down farther over my eyes, so all I could see was the ground on which I walked. I knew I was following a straight line since there was a sidewalk beneath my feet. The woman next to me continued to talk, but all I could hear was the whistling of the winds and my own teeth chattering in my mouth. We reached the entrance to the apartment, and quickly hurried upstairs. Even though we had left the heat on, the whole place seemed to echo with a stinging cold. I settled into the couch and started when I heard a crash from the kitchen. Alarmed, I ran to investigate. She sat on the floor, holding her foot and moaning about a stubbed toe. I smiled and kissed her lips. The rooms finally felt warm, the heat must have finally kicked on.

Week 11: Prompt 3

3450.

He prepared to follow that lane.

The sun shone brightly near the horizon, as the sun was slowly setting in the distance. He knew that he had to get going if he wanted to make it in time. He debated packing some things to bring with him, but he knew the journey would not be that long, so he didn't bother. He quickly penned a note to his family, so that they would know where he had gone. He stepped from his home and began hobbling towards the setting sun, trying to hurry as fast as he could. He came upon a lane that seemed to go directly into the middle of the orange sun. The sun was now only half visible as it was quickly becoming obscured by the landscape. The man hobbled faster, the closer he got to the sun, his limp lessened. Just before he met the sun's rays and was enveloped in the splendor, he was running. He ran with open arms into the bright rays.

Week 11: Prompt 2

Tools

As a child, my father always had his trusty tool at his side. A hammer. That hammer built many things.

The house we lived in until I moved out

A barn for my horse Fudge, to keep her warm at night. Even though he insisted that horses were the most useless pet in the world, that hammer still went to work.

My playhouse, where many great and imaginary adventures happened. 

As I grew older, he even built me a cedar chest to store all my greatest treasures, so that I could go back and relish in my youthful objects.

A crib for my first child, the hand worn edges were evident of all the use it received.